Gameshow Narrator: "Please welcome your host for tonight. . .Clive N-N-Nibbs!"
Clive Nibbs: "Good evening Ladies and Mental-Men!"
Sorry readers, I'm getting carried away again, just ignore my madness, eventually my wacky personality won't come as a surprise to you, just ask my brother Ian! For flips sake he has to live in the same house as me!!
Anyway let's cut the crap (excuse my french...ooh bonjour madman!) Arghh sorry I'm at it again, "bzzz Planet Earth to Clive, do you read me!!" I HAVE AN IDEA FOR A NEW COOKERY GAMESHOW!
Just imagine a formula similar to many cookery shows whereby contestants bring in common ingredients found in the home, and then seek the culinary skills of a professional celebrity chef as to what to do with such a mixed bag of everyday items. Here's the different bit...bzzz Come in Clive Nibbs, we read you! These contestants bring in genuine items found in the fridge on a desperate Tuesday night! So, the top chefs must create an interesting and nutritious dish with, for example, the following things out of my own fridge:
*2 old brown button mushrooms lying in strange opaque water and stuck to the blue plastic box
*Christmas Chutney
*Wafer thin ham slices, again floating in a watery residue
*Half a soft onion, dripping with grey water
I have to stop here I'm afraid readers, I think my refrigerator is on the blink, everything seems to be defrosting and being dripped on by cloudy water